I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
