Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
