Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
