Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
