Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
