you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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I need you to use more vowels.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
