I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
