just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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