for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
