I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
