i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Someone signed my nipple.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
