I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
