You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
