you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
