My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
