all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
