Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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