The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
