I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Never underestimate the power of titties
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
