HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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