she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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