I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The power of my boobs compel you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
