Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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