Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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