small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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