I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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