hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
