You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
