dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
