I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
