so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
