the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
