I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
