guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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