you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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