You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
