I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
