we have officially lost it.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
