I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
