cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
