I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My pussy is not your playground.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Terrible idea I love it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
