She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
