Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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