they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
