OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
