K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
