you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize