I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize