Got a toothbrush?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
