Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
