Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
