Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
