I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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