Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
