are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
