That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
