worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
