my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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