You work out of a Hotel?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize