found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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