yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize