at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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