Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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