Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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