Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
