i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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