I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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